myrtle

yesterday myrtle was swimming in the lake and found the strangest

                                  ( thing )

WHOA

whats wrong with the squid

it kept swimming around in sad circles then finally beached itself on the shore

myrtle thinks its still there if u want to see!

shame that myrtle cant even enjoy a summer alone from you livers but to make it worse someone goes and flushes myrtle down the loo
wouldve gone for a longer swim in the lake but thought the non-liver would complain about myrtle interrupting his swim

before heading back to the castle noticed the squid was missing
have the livers finally given in and eaten squid as a tasty treat

wouldnt that be just awwwwwful

most amusing livers to say the least

Hogwarts is turning into a hodgepodge of teen angst and problems. I've seen students depressed and obsessed, lazy and crazy!

The only solution to buy my eleventy-three volume Self Help Guide, which will take you from blah to huzzah in fourty-seven fabulous steps! From the moment you open scroll one to the second you put down scroll eleventy-three, your life will be turned around!

You'll eat right, exercise more, galleons will fall into your pocket, and corns will flee from your feet!!!

I used to be a moaning, moping, miserable Myrtle! But the moment I told myself to "get over it," I turned my death around! And you can do it, too! Just send great vats of galleons in WizCheck or Owl Note to the first floor girls' lavatory, second stall from the right! We'll promptly ship you our eleventy-three volume guide, so you too can go from Woe to Whee!

Act now and mention this advert, and we'll throw in a... towel!!!! For all your towelling needs!!!

But, honest to Merlin, sometimes I ask myself what's the matter with you all? Poor Hogwarts babelings think they're sooooo important, wanking off about how they have too much money or too much eyeliner or too much nudity. None of you have ever felt what it's really like to suffer.

You've never been teased by your classmates so much that you hid in the lavatory and made friends with the loo. You've never been felt up by your grandmother or had your entire family forget your sweet sixteen. Youve never been overlooked and dismissed and forgotten and made to feel like u were a nobody




myrtle has had it harder than all of u

myrtle knows the really meaning of depression

myrtle says fie FIE to ur rueful dismissal of myrtle







woe

                                    woe

                         there is snow

    myrtle cannot feel her toe

                             even though

  she cant feel a thing but woe




...................................... woe

myrtle has found the perfect hallow e en costume




myrtle is going to be a ghost























oh wait
too late











woe

myrtle was in the pipe system


waiting
           quietly
not bothering anyone

when a fireball streaked by and nearly singed myrtles hair

so what if its not possible for myrtle to catch on fire anyhow















its the thought that counts

great


even the non human gets a lapt op










livers

the former love of myrtle's death has reprimanded her for not being like the others and commenting regularly


like those livers




yes well no need to be so inconsiderate seeing as myrtle is dead and disembodied not like cedeadric who still has hands to type with


this seems to have made him worthy of receiving a lapt op like one of the livers

myrtle however has no body and nobody

getting onto the interweb is a fairly painful process in which she squeezes herself into that funny slot on the side of the lapt op







myrtle finds that a lapt op is less comfortable than a sewage line





may u all rot